Exploring whether Christians are Friends of God

 

1.     Whether Christians are entitled (scripturally or otherwise) to call themselves as friends of God is a question that has cropped up for airing time and again.  It is best to turn to none other than God’s Word when pondering on this question that has piqued the interest of many.

 

2.    Often touted as the model for friendship with God is the souls-knitted-together relationship portrayed in I Samuel 18:1-3 between David and Jonathan.  However, one of the primary reasons for the Old Testament to highlight this exceptional relationship is to explain why Jonathan did not vie with David for kingship.  This trio of verses has to be diligently read in conjunction with the detailed narrations of the two on-the-run occasions where David chose to disregard the strategically-expedient advice proffered by his loyal followers to capture Saul when the latter was left unattended in the caves to relieve himself.  All these collectively serve to affirm that David did not conspire to wrest the kingdom away from Saul and his successor but was duly inaugurated as king of Judah and Israel in accordance with God’s plan for him to assume his anointed role in initiating the line of kings that culminated in the Messiah (viz Son of David).

 

3.    It has additionally to be pointed out that ― apart from David whose friendships with others such as Hushai the Archite and Barzillai the Gileadite have also been deliberately recorded in II Samuel ― scriptures do not talk in the slightest bit about the friends of leading characters like Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Joshua, Samuel, Ezra, Nehemiah, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Daniel, Hosea, Jonah, Elijah, Elisha and John the Baptist.  Even the camaraderie intimated in Daniel 1 among the four young deportees during their formative years in Babylon is not described at all.  If friendship is intended to be a prevailing biblical theme (as asserted in some circles), there ought to have been fuller discourse on and more examples of this particular relationship interspersed throughout the 66 books; for instance, Song of Solomon dwells at length on the love between the Shulamite and her beloved but this eight-chapter poem offers only a fleeting glimpse of the couple’s friendship.

 

4.     On the contrary, the entire book of Job paints an unflattering picture of the three friends who, upon learning about what had happened to Job, took the time and trouble to make “an appointment together to come and mourn with him and to comfort him” (Job 2:11).  Much later during the to-and-fro discussions, “they found no answer [for his suffering] and yet had condemned Job” (Job 32:3) in so unrelenting a manner as to elicit from him the bitter complaint that “my friends scorn me” (Job 16:20) followed by the plaintive plea to “have pity on me, have pity on me, O you my friends” (Job 19:21).

 

5.      If the assertion of being friends with God is valid, scriptures should then be replete with examples of leading characters already named as God’s friends.  In actual fact, however, only Abraham (who is featured prominently among those selected for the Hall of Faith in Hebrews 11) has been authoritatively declared to be God’s friend; this friendship between the Creator and His chosen is so unique that three unrelated verses independently allude to it (in II Chronicles 20:7, Isaiah 41:8 and James 2:23).  Even Moses (who is commended in Numbers 12:3 as the meekest man on earth and regarded in Deuteronomy 34:10 as a prophet unequalled in the Old Testament) has not been explicitly accorded this title ― with Exodus 33:11 merely stating that “the Lord spoke to Moses face to face as a man speaks to his friend”.

 

6.    Instead of actively publicising the positive features of friendship, the Bible contains many candid warnings on the unreliability of fair-weather friends:

•   “… but the rich has many friends” (Proverbs 14:20)

•   “Wealth makes many friends …” (Proverbs 19:4)

•   “… every man is a friend to one who gives gifts” (Proverbs 19:6)

•   “How much more do his friends go far from him” (Proverbs 19:7)

•   “All my close friends abhor me [after I was afflicted] …” (Job 19:19)

•   “All her friends have dealt treacherously with her. They have become her enemies.” (Lamentations 1:2)

•   “And I [Jesus] say to you, make friends for yourselves by unrighteous mammon …” (Luke 16:9)

•   “That very day [after Jesus’s arrest], Pilate and Herod became friends with each other for previously they had been at enmity” (Luke 23:12).

 

7.     By the way, it is interesting to note that the term “friend” has been derogatorily applied by Jesus Himself to His betrayer: “Jesus said to Judas [who led the arresting party], ‘Friend, why have you come?’ ” (Matthew 26:50).  The Old Testament provides another example of a betrayer (presumably Ahithophel) who had also been called a friend: “Even my own familiar friend in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has lifted up his heel against me” (Psalm 41:9).  This lament by David also functions as a messianic verse which was cited by Jesus during the Last Supper so “that the Scripture may be fulfilled” (John 13:18).

 

8.    Scriptures extol God’s love as far exceeding what a father or mother may ever feel for their offspring:

•   “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.” (Psalm 103:13)

•   “Can a mother forget her nursing child and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, yet I will not forget you.” (Isaiah 49:15).

On the other hand, all of the scriptural authors (apart from John who is the only gospel writer to record Jesus’s oft-cited declaration of sacrificial love for friends in John 15:13 which will be considered subsequently in S/No 10) did not feel led to perceive God’s love from the perspective of  intimacy among friends.

 

9.    Extrapolating the theme of parental love (referred to in S/No 8), there are explicit verses in the New Testament spelling out how those elected by God are to relate to Him:

•   “I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” (II Corinthians 6:18)

•   “Behold, what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us that we should be called children of God.” (I John 3:1).

On the other hand, there is no corresponding verse to support any Christian’s assertion that he or she is — whether alternatively or additionally — to be called a friend of God.

 

10.   John 15:13 has often been cited as justification: “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.”  Strictly speaking, such a verse has to be understood in the context of what Jesus said to His disciples during the time “when He knew that His hour had come that He should depart from this world …” (John 13:1).  Jesus articulated this sacrificial-love statement as an explanatory extension of His preceding commandment to “love one another as I have loved you” (John 15:12).  After three years of being in a teacher-student relationship with Jesus, the disciples were elevated in John 15:15 to the placeholder status of friends just days before the enactment of the ultimate sacrifice that was taught by the Messiah.  With the offer of salvation made available to sinners after the perfect Lamb’s blood had been shed to pay, once and for all, the penalty for mankind’s sins, the disciples-turned-friends of Jesus were then afforded “the right to become children of God” (John 1:12) as per the Creator’s master-plan to receive those elected by Him to be “members of the household of God” (Ephesians 2:19).  It thus follows that John 15:13 cannot be extracted out of its proper context to found a doctrine that God deems these disciples (as well as all others who have since been saved) to be His friends; otherwise, there ought to have been other corroborating verses elsewhere in the scriptures apart from the stand-alone verse of John 15:13 (which must, once again, not be read in isolation from the accompanying verses that furnish the context of Jesus’s teachings prior to His impending arrest).

 

11.   Is the disciple-to-friend upgrade to be extended to all Christians?  The condition specified by Jesus when announcing to His disciples that “no longer do I call you servants” (John 15:15) is that “you are My friends if you do whatever I command you” (John 15:14).  Did the apostles (after the Son of Man’s ascension to heaven) do whatever Jesus commanded?  According to the book of Acts (as well as extra-biblical materials from that early-church period), all of them were indeed fervent in their appointed service — even to the point of martyrdom for the majority.  Whether modern-day Christians (especially those who have neither the time nor any inclination to undergo discipleship training) can comply with the condition of doing whatever Jesus has commanded is a question that needs to be addressed before the issue of being God’s friend may be raised for discussion.

 

12.   For those disciples who were present during the discourse outlined in John 15:12-17 (and who indeed did “go and bear fruit” after being formally appointed by Jesus in John 15:16), had any in the audience since then vaunted himself as His friend?  Even the impetuous Peter who brashly declared during the Last Supper that “I will lay down my life for Your sake” (John 13:37) — along the line of what his Master propounded in John 15:13 — merely viewed himself later as a “bond-servant and apostle of Jesus Christ” (II Peter 1:1) and there is no hint in the New Testament books of him ever appropriating the friend-of-Jesus appellation.  Likewise, the “disciple whom Jesus loved …, who also had leaned on His breast at the supper” (John 21:20) perceived himself only as “His servant John” (Revelation 1:1) instead of His friend John.

13.   Returning to the earlier reference in S/No 5 regarding “the father of all who believe” (Romans 4:11) where two variations of the “friend of God” (James 2:23) ascription appear in the Old Testament, is there evidence of Abraham also meeting the condition stipulated by Jesus to the disciples-turned-friends during His pre-arrest discourse at the turn of the New Testament era?  The answer is provided in Hebrews 11:17 which recounts that “Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac [in unhesitating compliance with what God Himself commanded in Genesis 22:2] and he who had received the promises offered up his only begotten son …”  This particular verse has to be compared with John 3:16 which tells of the ultimate sacrificial love: “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son …”

 

14.   Naturally, an overt act of divine adoption is required before human sinners who have been saved can thereafter become children in God’s family.  That God had intentionally incorporated adoption into His master-plan for those who have been called into relationship with Him is affirmed multiple times by New Testament authors:

•   “… He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, … having pre-destined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself …” (Ephesians 1:4-5)

•   “… God sent forth His Son … to redeem those who have been under the law that we might receive the adoption as sons.” (Galatians 4:4-5)

•   “… you received the Spirit of adoption by which we cry out, ‘Abba, Father’.  The Spirit bears witness … that we are children of God.” (Romans 8:15-16)

•   “As many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name …” (John 1:12).

In stark contrast, there is absolutely no mention in Paul’s inspired exposition on salvation that God had additionally included any offer of friendship as an integral constituent of His master-plan.

 

15.   Also to be taken into account is the legal connotation of adoption.  Such an act bestows the concomitant benefit of inheritance which I Peter 1:4 confirms as being “... reserved in heaven for ...” those who have been called to salvation ― with Paul unambiguously pointing out that the undeserving sinners whom God pre-destined will become in due process “heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ” (Romans 8:17).  The status of friendship with God, in contrast, does not convey the assurance that inheritance will automatically follow suit.

 

16.   Implicit in friendship is the notion of a relationship among equals.  However, God is to be held in awe and worshipped with reverence ― certainly not to be flippantly claimed by His created beings to be their equal.  As already explained in S/No 9, the fitting title consistently employed in scriptures when considering God’s intimate relationship with those loved by Him is “Father” rather than the proposed alternative of “Friend”.

 

17.   Finally, Hebrews 1:5 has (for humanity’s sake) set out the relationship between God and Jesus in the following  manner: “I will be to Him a Father and He shall be to Me a Son”.  All four gospels record Jesus addressing God as “My Father” in His personal capacity (eg in Matthew 7:21, Mark 14:36, Luke 2:49 and John 10:30) or as “your Father” when teaching His followers (eg in Matthew 6:6, Mark 11:26, Luke 6:36 and John 20:17).  Should Christians then not follow the lead of Jesus (Whom Romans 8:29 portrays as being “… the first-born among many brethren” who have been adopted into His family) and refer to God as “Father” instead of “Friend”?